101 Things I Will Teach My Daughters

This is a wonderful read.  Check it out….

101 Things I Will Teach My Daughters

Babygirl and Mamasim

Babygirl and Mamasim

1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.

2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.

3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.

4. How to apply red lipstick.

5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.

6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.

7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.

8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.

9. Love the world unconditionally.

10. Seek beauty in all things.

11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.

12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.

13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.

14. Make the world feel at ease around you.

15. Walk with your head up.

16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.

17.  Check out the rest of the list here on Thought Catalog.

Mamasimx About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

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10 Ways To Inspire Your Kids

Plant the seeds of curiosity, imagination and creativity in your children

You probably already know how important it is for kids to indulge their creative side, but even when they’re up for being imaginative, many projects are mostly a lesson in following instructions. That’s certainly valuable, but true creativity also involves figuring things out for themselves. Neal Bascomb learned this lesson while writing his book, The New Cool. The author followed a team of 31 high school seniors in Goleta, California who, in the span of just six weeks working alongside mentors, built a robot for an international competition. “This project-based, interactive experience inspires kids like nothing I’ve ever seen,” Bascomb says. Read on for tips on how to inspire your own children.

1. Practice what you preach.

“Mentor and coach alongside your children,” advises Bascomb. “It’s incredibly inspiring for kids to work with their parents, instead of simply taking directions from them.” This way, they’ll see that you’re truly invested in their success and will view you as an ally. And hey, maybe you’ll learn something new, too! So next time they need your help with a project, instead of telling them how to do it, jump in and try to figure it out together.

2. Encourage hands-on activities.

Bascomb stresses the importance of “getting in there and working with your hands,” explaining that there is something almost primal about our desire to build and create. Put away the computers and smartphones, get some tools––even just a hammer, nails and wood––and build something together. “You might light a fire inside your kid that you didn’t know existed.” You’ll also help your child connect to and appreciate the way of life that previous generations experienced, before video games and the Internet.

3. Expect more from your kids.

It can be tempting to over-assist in an effort to help your child succeed, but hand-holding can backfire and send the message that she can’t do it on her own. Instead, says Bascomb, “give your kids responsibility, and expect more from them. It’s amazing what kids are able to do if you push them to take a leadership role, formulate their own ideas and execute them. Give them the tools they need, and let them run.”

4.  Read the rest of the post, by Tori Rodriguez here.

Take a look at these other posts…

Yelling At Your Children – Succumbing To The Dark Side Of The Force

25 Ways To Show Your Children You Love Them

Mamasimx  About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

6 Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Child’s Life

Here is a reminder to all of us parents and a great post by Leo Babauta.

Praise your child constructively6 Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Child’s Life

As parents, we’re always looking for ways to improve our child’s life, from decisions like what school he should attend to long-term worries like paying for his college education.

But we often forget that it’s the little things that really matter — the things we do today, with the kid, that will shape his life.

These things don’t have to be huge, or expensive, or time-consuming. We can take a few minutes out of each day to do one of these little things, and it’ll make a big difference, over the long term.
Don’t have the time? Try shutting off the computer after 6 p.m. and not doing email or web browsing. Try shutting off the TV and any other media, and just make time for these things.

There are many little things you can do, but here are 6 good ones.

  1. Read. The best way to improve your child’s education is to read to her. Daily, if possible. It doesn’t much matter what you read, as long as you’re doing it. It’s a great way to bond, it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort, and it’s a lot of fun for both you and the child. When you read to your child, she learns language, learns to read and become a self-educator, learns the importance of reading, because you’re spending time doing it with her. Here are my favorite children’s books.
  2. Talk. Just sit on the couch, or go for a walk outside…  to read the rest of the post click through to Leo’s site here.

Mamasimx  About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

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The Rules of Effortless Parenting

It’s very easy to be a bad parent. It’s harder to be a good parent most of the time. It’s impossible to be a great parent all of the time.

Harassed-Mum-post-image2
We can’t be too hard on ourselves for those times we don’t handle well. We can’t beat ourselves about the shouting or a smack or losing our temper.

We can though (and must) strive to be a good parent most of the time if we want to be proud of our grown kids and proud of ourselves and the job we have done with them.

When I let myself be driven to distraction by the misbehaviour of my children I am guilty of reverting to over authoritarian behaviour. I become my father, bending nose to their little nose, finger pointed and stabbing the air for emphasis, voice raised and lecturing.  (Bless him – in all other ways a great Dad.)

I always regret it afterward. But I don’t beat myself up about it anymore. Any such outbursts act as a red flag. Time to put more effort into better managing my reactions to their behaviour. Time to remember to take a deep breath and count to ten before reacting.   Because it is so easy to forget we have to manage ourselves before we can properly manage our children.  The daily process of getting the day done is often stressful and grinding – if we let it.

I don’t want to look back at the years I spent raising my kids and have regrets.  I don’t want to be the grandmother that says I wish I had been less hard on them, worried less about controlling them every second, been less concerned with ensuring their perfect obedience 100% of the time.

I want us to look back and remember giggles, and tickles and laughing and fun and warmth and love and safety and security and happiness and joy and wonder and LOVE.

So to help me in this process of self management I like to reinforce those practices that help me stay on track by reading and learning from others.

This post from Leo Babauta Zen Habits:Breathe is just such a read. Enjoy.

The Rules of Effortless Parenting
Post written by Leo Babauta.

I often get asked how I can do so much while having six kids.

My short answer, and all you really need to know, is my wife Eva is awesome. I couldn’t do half what I do without her.

She is the reason Zen Habits is able to exist. And so if you want parenting advice, you’d be smart to ask her.

She doesn’t, however, have a blog. And so I’ll share some things that we both do that make our jobs as parents easier.

These are Very Important Rules that must never be broken by any Serious Parent … until, of course, you want to break them. The first rule of Rules of Effortless Parenting is that you should always break rules.

To read the rest of the post click through to the post on Leo’s site here.

Mamsimx  About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

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What is your parenting style?

Do you know your parenting style?

Want to be a better parent? Knowing what your current parenting style is will help you identify your needed areas for improvement. Promoting the self-discipline and self-esteem of the children in your family often requires an emotional juggling act by you as a parent. It is not easy to be firm and demanding with achild one minute, then warm and affectionate the next. This is an ongoing education process both for the parent and for the child. In addition, many adults naturally have personalities or temperaments that predispose them toward one parenting style or another.

Authoritarian Parenting

Parents who tend to overemphasize the discipline side of the equation are referred to as authoritarian. Authoritarian parents are demanding in the worst sense of the word. They are intimidators, requiring obedience and respect above all else. They become overly angry and forceful when they don’t get that obedience and respect. Their love and acceptance appear totally conditional to the child. They do not teach or listen to their kids or explain the reason for their expectations, which are frequently unrealistic. They often see their children’s individuality and independence as irrelevant or threatening.

To read the rest of this great post go to Brainy Child here.
Mamasimx About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

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Dad Illustrates the Weirdest Stuff He’s Ever Said to His Kids – Dad’s Parenting

You MUST check out this page.  It’s soooooo funny.

The things we go through raising our children.

Here is a taster – but click here to see the rest – they are great.  Made my morning!

 

the weirdest things I have said to my kids

Mamasimx About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

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Co-Sleeping. Do You Admit You Do It?

Here is a post I really wanted to share.

Co-sleeping is often frowned upon, something I have never understood. I am cognoscent of the dangers of course.  Yet I have cosleepingoften co-slept with all my three children at some point or other.  Usually so that we could all get some sleep.  I don’t feel any discomfort in saying so either.

Trying to get our babies, toddlers, children to sleep at night can be such an awful trial and I think it’s why so many parents end up putting their child(ren) in bed with them.  But why do so many feel that it is not acceptable to admit this?

I remember discussing with work colleagues the nightmare time my husband and I were having with our 2 year old who woke every night at least 4 or 5 times.  My husband and I were at the end of our tethers.  My colleague seemed mystified and I asked how he had managed to cope.  He said that in his culture the children slept with the parents until they are 4.  At this age they then often wanted to have there own bed.  They experienced no sleeping or co-sleeping problems.

Our 12 month old still sleeps in her cot which is side-cared to our bed.  This is by far the best solution.  It means she is close enough to reach out and reassure.  She can see and hear me.  I can easily scoop her up when it is time to feed and just as easily place her back when feeding is finished. No need for a basinet or moses basket or feeding chair for that matter.  Just a feeding pillow.

But I have no hesitation in leaving her beside me is she will not settle.  I love cuddling with her and feeling her soft breath on my cheek as she sleeps.  I love to look at her and admire every precious and gorgeous curve of her face as she lies next to me.  It’s one of the greatest experiences of being a parent.

Here is Amber from Strocel.com viewpoint.

Why I Co-Sleep

On Wednesday, my son Jacob and I appeared on the local CBC evening news, in a story about co-sleeping. Because I am a co-sleeping parent. When I was initially contacted about the story I spoke with a producer who mentioned that she herself had co-slept. All the same, I assumed that some other source would also be interviewed for the story, presenting an anti-co-sleeping message.

I agreed to participate, because I thought it was important to speak out on behalf of co-sleeping parents. I believe many more parents choose to co-sleep than are reflected in statistics on the subject, and I believe that the vast majority of us are not doing it flippantly. I wanted to give voice to that. However, I feel that I was portrayed as being almost dangerously irresponsible. My friend Lorien took up the call with the CBC on behalf of all co-sleeping parents, and you can see her thoughts on how co-sleeping was portrayed.

The truth of the matter is that, in spite of dire warnings from the BC Coroners Service, I’m not entirely sure that I buy the argument that co-sleeping is unsafe. For one thing, as John Hoffman and Annie of PhD in Parenting outline, when a baby dies in an adult bed there is no distinction made between a safe co-sleeping environment and an unsafe co-sleeping environment. Just as a crib filled with stuffed toys and pillows can be unsafe, an adult bed filled with the same things can be unsafe. The difference, though, is that if an infant suffocates under a pillow in a crib the pillow is blamed, and if an infant suffocates under a pillow in an adult bed co-sleeping is blamed.

To read the rest of the post please click through to Ambers site here (it will take you directly to the post).

Mamasimx  About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.

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7 Principles for Peaceful Parenting

The Principles

By: Marcy Axness and Melanie Mayo

In my 25 years of being a parent, a student of human development, a human in constant development, an impassioned researcher of the human sciences, and a parent coach engaged with the challenges and triumphs of real moms and dads, I have gathered a superabundance of excellent information. But I’ve also come to recognize that a great gift in this era of information overload is to arrive at the other side of a gazillion helpful facts to a few solid peaceful parenting principles. I wrote Parenting for Peace around seven such solid-gold nuggets — principles informed by research in fields from neuroscience to developmental psychology to consciousness studies and beyond.

Each principle “accordions out” to include many practical basics, more than I have room to include here (that’s what the book is for!). These, though, are the foundational principles for effective, healthy and peaceful parenting.

better parentingPresence

The ability to be fully here, right now, with your body, thoughts and feelings. Engaged, connected. One of the greatest needs of the child is regular doses of your undistracted presence. Try “Nothing Else” time: Sit on the floor, amidst the blocks, the books, the dolls… and be available to your child. This is potent, brain-to-brain training time. It is also when parents allows themselves to be taught by their children — curiosity, playfulness, spontaneity. If you can carve out 20 minutes, 15 minutes, even 10 minutes in a day, it’s like a magic vitamin to the relationship mix. It nourishes you both, and also buffers and protects against other disrupting elements of daily life. It also enhances the true self-esteem that flourishes with the child’s experience that she is worth your time, your attention, your presence. Cultivating your capacity for presence is perhaps the most reliable investment you can make for the wellbeing of your children, yourself, and all your relationships.

Awareness

The knowledge you need to be effective. Essential peaceful parenting awareness includes daily “micro” details such as knowing when the last time your child ate some protein or essential fatty acids (brain food is essential for the ability to “keep it together”)… had some water… or got some sleep. There is also the big picture awareness — like where your child is in the scheme of unfolding brain development, and the capacities unique to that stage. This includes knowing, for example, that a young child’s primary modes of learning are through sensing (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching — indeed, lots of touching!) and doing. This helps parents with a basic discipline issue: for a child to touch something is similar to an adult thinking about that same thing.

Another essential aspect of awareness for parents is a connected sense of our own childhood, and what parenting awakens within us in terms of our history and our story. We all travel with an entourage: us at each age we ever were! When a mother holds a baby in her arms, the baby she once was is also there, with all of the feelings she had then. Ditto the toddler, the preschooler, the kindergartner, the teen… you get the idea. This is often the biggest, blindsiding challenge in parenting!

Rhythm

A fundamental human pacing need, often forgotten in our 27/7, techno-automated world. Rhythm is one of the greatest needs of the young child, and is therefore a parent’s best friend. (Fyi, it’s the biggest ace up “Super Nanny”’s sleeve: the first thing she does is put every family on a schedule!) Young children thrive on and crave rhythmicity to their days, their weeks, even the seasons: “This is when we eat, this is when we nap, this is when we have play time… Tuesdays we go to the park, Wednesdays we go to the Farmer’s Market, Sunday we visit Grandma, and summer is beach time!”
Seems monotonous to us as adults, because we’re essentially different creatures inside our skulls. The circuitry of the social brain wiring up in the early years are critical to the formation of all later brain-based capacities. Rhythm’s external consistency and predictability allow the growing child to gradually internalize regulation and stability — which we now know is the foundation for all human success, including intelligence, relationships, and joy.

Example

better parentingThe ultimate mode of teaching and learning. Waldorf education founder Rudolf Steiner said that the young child is really an eye, taking in everything, registering everything, without analysis! And they imitate everything. They don’t so much hear our words, but pick up everything else. So the peaceful parenting question/ mantra needs to be be (make sure you’re sitting down for this): Am I worthy of my child’s unquestioning imitation? If we complain about chores — even just in the way we make the gesture of doing the chore — it will be emulated, perhaps not right away, but years from now. So, for example, take care that the books you read to your little one also interest you; if you read to your child forcing yourself to do it, he may very well resist reading later! Also, careful about taking pleasure in matter-of-factly criticizing friends, acquaintances, politicians. By contrast, children learn important lessons from us aspiring to elevate our inner selves. Children take our cues about everything, and become our most exquisite mirrors. Be (or gently strive toward being) the noble qualities you dream of for your child!

Nurturance

The practical demonstration of love, the giving of ourselves to the other: how we cuddle them, feed them, smile at them. Everything is an opportunity for nurturance of our children — how we choose their toys and books, their clothing, the colors for their rooms, what to feed them, even the attitude we hold while preparing their meals! Beauty, reverence, a sense of awe — these are all important ways of nurturing the young child. And, how we discipline, keeping in mind that humans of all ages are always either in “growth or protection” mode, and that harsh reprimands — including “time out” — elicit defense/protection mode physically and psychologically, which is counterproductive on all mind/body levels. This doesn’t mean we never say “no” or set limits — that is another way sure-fire way to make a child feel insecure! When engaging peaceful parenting, we repair the ruptured connection after a break happens.

Trust

Calm reliance upon processes outside our immediate perception and control. In other words, the most potent anti-anxiety secret, and perhaps the most subversive item on this list. Everything in our consumerist culture teaches us that we’re not quite enough, but something we can purchase will make up for our lack — like the myriad “educational” techno-gizmos marketed at anxiously devoted parents. Together with the other six principles, trust is an antidote for this anxiety. When I have a new rose that is just budding in my garden, do I tinker with the petals, or do anything with that flower to “optimize” it? No, I enrich and fertilize the soil that the rose is growing in, and I trust in the process of Life unfolding. I also trust that the rosebush can weather storms without me over-sheltering it!

Simplicity

better parentingThe absence of complication and excess. This applies to our outer environment and our inner life. Simplicity is the portal to joy, and joy lies at the very foundation of health, wellbeing and peace. Definitely with a child younger than six or seven (which is what I mean whenever I refer to “the young child”), but also with older kids, the more we can simplify life, the more peace we will have in the home and woven into the fabric of the child’s developing brain — it becomes a positive feedback loop! The child’s deepest need is to be seen and known. Simplifying daily life helps that to happen more: “When we overbook, we overlook.” A study found that just simplifying dramatically reduced symptoms of clinically diagnosed ADHD! Cultivating a sense of wonder and imagination helps guarantee simplicity, because then everything becomes something amazing: wind through the trees is fairies dancing… a piece of wood becomes an alligator or a doll… a spoon becomes a great flag or a king’s scepter. Then we don’t need to constantly purchase things. And a child — or parent — who can imagine is on a path toward unlimited horizons.

 

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Mamasimx  About Me

Don’t forget to enjoy your day.